On My Own
by Ryann Winner
Summary: Sonfic starring Relena. HY & RP, and a surprise at the end.


On My Own  
By RyAnn Winner  
  
DISCLAIMER: Gundam Wing characters belong to someone besides me. "On My Own" is property of whoever owns Les Miserables.  
  
NOTES: Well, enjoy this. I always thought Relena and this song fit together.  
  
  
Relena Peacecraft locked her office and headed out the main door. She sighed. 'Guess I'm in for another evening at home.' The young world leader stepped out into the night.  
Her home was warm and cozy, that wasn't the problem. It was just lonely. There was no one waiting there for her to return to. Sure, there were servants and bodyguards around, but they were employees. No one she could call a real friend. No one she could turn to to tell them about her day, no one to comfort her if there was a rough day. She sighed again.  
And now I'm all alone again  
Nowhere to turn, no one to go to  
Without a home without a friend  
Without a face to say hello to  
And now the night is near  
I can make believe he's here  
  
She walked down the drive, choosing not to ride. It wasn't a long walk, and it was such a mild winter night. Walking along the riverfront always gave her time to think. It was late, she had had a meeting with some local officials and it had run long.  
Relena stopped and leaned on the rail over the lake. Sighing, she looked out at the river. The stars were reflecting off the surface making it look as if there were diamonds floating there. A soft breeze blew the few wisps of honey colored hair around her face.  
She closed her eyes and there he was. She smiled.  
  
Sometimes I walk alone at night  
When everybody else is sleeping  
I think of him and I'm happy  
With the company I'm keeping  
The city goes to bed  
And I can live inside my head  
  
A figure walks up to the woman leaning against the rail. She sees his outline before he steps into the light. His hair is still as unruly as ever. His physique is sculpted into the promised man from the boy she had known. When he stepped into the light, she could see his eyes were still the same Prussian blue that always took her breath. His face had matured and no longer held any hint of the boy he once was.  
"Relena." His voice still held it's mysterious air.  
"Heero."  
He took her arm and placed it in his and the two of them started walking along the river's edge.  
Neither said anything, just walked to be near each other. Relena would sneak glances over at him and would sometimes catch him looking at her.  
He stopped and turned to face her. He took his hand, and with his fingers, he traced a path along her jaw, up her cheek, and back to her chin. Stopping at her chin, his fingers guided her face up so it would be closer to his. When it was the distance he desired, he brought his face toward hers and gently brushed his lips against hers.  
He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. She closed her eyes and relished in the feel of his arms around her. Her loneliness receded when Heero held her in his arms.  
  
On my own  
Pretending he's beside me  
All alone  
I walk with him 'til morning  
Without him  
I feel his arms around me  
And when I lose my way I close my eyes  
And he has found me  
  
She starts to feel a wetness cover her face and realizes it's raining slightly. She didn't care. Heero was holding her. All that mattered was here and now.  
They started walking again. Not saying anything. When they reached a bridge, they stopped. Relena turned to look out over the river. Heero wrapped his arms around her from behind and gently kissed her neck.  
The light mist was making puddles on the bridge around them. The streetlights were reflecting off the water making it look like mirrors of silver were reflecting their images. Lights on the river were shining through a thin layer of gauze making them glow in a haze. There were a few stars in the sky that seemed to tell the rain clouds that there was no way the clouds were going to take away their right to shine tonight.  
Relena closed her eyes and smiled.  
  
In the rain the pavement shines like silver  
All the lights are misty in the river  
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight  
And all I see is him and me forever and forever  
  
"Heero, can you stay with me?" She opened her eyes and turned in his arms.  
He soflty shook his head. "Relena, you know the answer to that. It never changes, and it never will. There is too much keeping us apart. I can't stay. I'll never be able to." He brushed a stray lock of hair away from her face.  
Relena only smiled slightly at his answer. He always answered the same. But, each time she asked, she hoped the answer would change.  
'Maybe one day whatever it is that is keeping us apart will go away.'   
With that hope in her mind, she closed her eyes again and leaned against his chest.  
  
And I know it's only in my mind  
That I'm talking to myself and not to him  
And although I know that he is blind  
Still I say, there's a way for us  
  
When she opened her eyes, she saw that it was dawn and she was alone leaning on the same rail instead of with Heero on the bridge. The rising sun had turned the river back into a river instead of one teeming with diamonds. The trees, instead of reaching out their leaf filled branches to the stars, were now just bare trees along the river's edge. The world was back to way it was.  
The moisture on her face wasn't from a light misty rain; the streets around her were dry. Reaching up to wipe the moisture away, she realized it was coming from her tears.  
Relena pushes herself from the rail and starts walking to her home. On the streets, people offer their good mornings and greetings. But, they are only shallow greetings. Offered to their beloved leader, not to the person of Relena Peacecraft.   
  
I love him  
But when the night is over  
He is gone  
The river's just a river  
Without him  
The world around me changes  
The trees are bare and everywhere  
The streets are full of strangers  
  
"Get real Relena. He's not going to come to you. Even if he did, he wouldn't stay. No matter how I hope and dream. Wishes won't work either. They don't exist, not for me." She didn't care what anyone thought. She was speaking aloud. She didn't think anyone would be listening to her anyway. They only listen when she is talking as a political leader.  
She shook her head side to side to clear her mind and shake the fantasies from her head. "Hopes, dreams, and wishes are things that only belong in a child's world. A world where the princess always gets her prince. My child's world ended when I was sixteen. There are no more hopes or dreams or wishes for me."  
Relena sighed. A few tears escaped from her teal eyes to make room for the ones that were still forming.  
"I guess I should be happy for him. He's found a life. That's what love really is, wanting someone else's happiness. I really should be happy for him. At least one of us will have a life. I will satisfy myself with making my people happy. That's all I will do. That's all I can do." Relena looked to the sky.  
"Heero, wherever you are, I truly hope you are happy. But know I will always love you."  
I love him  
But everyday I'm learning  
All my life  
I've only been pretending  
Without me  
His world would go on turning  
A world that's full of happiness   
That I have never known  
  
Relena reached her front door and unlocked it. After she had locked and checked it, she went to her bedroom. Once there, she called her secretary and told her she was taking a vacation day. With that done, she fell on her bed without even bothering to change her clothes. Grabbing the bear Heero had given her for her birthday, she proceeded to cry herself to sleep.  
I love him  
I love him  
I love him  
But only on my own  
  
Outside her balcony door, unknown to the sleeping young woman, a young man watched her. He had followed her from her office. Following her down the streets, he watched to make sure no one did her any harm. When she stopped at the rail, he stopped a ways down from her. All he did was just watch her. He did not even have to hide. She didn't notice anything outside; the only things she noticed were inside herself. He watched the different emotions play across her face.  
When dawn showed itself and she woke from her own world and started walking, he was behind her again. He had heard all she had said. It had broken his heart. No one should stop believing in dreams or other such things.  
"Ah Lena, you should still have your hopes and dreams. You should still be wishing on stars. I promise you that I will bring them back to you." He reached out his fingers and traced her sleeping form through the glass doors of the balcony.  
When he was done, Duo Maxwell leaned back against the wall to watch over the sleeping Relena Peacecraft.   
  
NOTES: Well, there it is. I have a sequel in mind, but bear with me. I seem to be suffering from occasional bouts of writer's block.  
Well, I hope you enjoyed. As always reviews are greatly appreciated.  
God Bless 'Til Next Time - R. Winner  



End file.
